Never before has a game looked so much like it would use resource-management, only to have, in fact, zero resources. Spirit Island is three things and three things only – Hand-management, area control, and asymmetrical factions. And that area control is something else. You don’t just spread your own control, you also throw your enemies […]
Spirit Island’s Fight for Survival Read More »
Oh, Caverna. You odd little duckling, you. I remember the first time I assembled your main board, thinking “Golly gee willickers, that’s a lot of worker locations!” In that playthrough I had mused “Such a variety of ways to win!” And at the end, I exclaimed “Uwe has outdone himself now!” Pffft, WRONG. Three years
Caverna’s Family Planning Read More »
Generally speaking, if anyone asks me to teach them a game, I will abandon all responsibilities and small children under my care to bring the new-comer into the hobby. Well, my newest group started three weeks ago and has completely surprised me. The group consists of myself and three others. Here are each of their
Now looky here folks. I’m a Euro gamer through and through. That means I want my tracks long, my board beige, and all dice thrown into a woodchipper and destroyed beyond repair. I want my rondels sliced plentifully, my tabelaus unassailable, and my point salads delicious as f*ck with a variety of options. F*ck your
The original Terraforming Mars is so old it needs to be in bed by 5 and demands to speak to your manager. It predates half-assed decent components. Franz Ferdinand was headlining parades when its first print was released. Its cover is so unappealing Barnes and Noble workers think it’s a science textbook misplaced on the
The Terraforming Mars Rollercoaster Read More »
Gamers are like dragons – we hoard objects coveted by others and breathe fire on anyone who riffle folds the f*ck*ng item deck. THESE AIN’T POKEMON CARDS YOU TW*T! We also bite players who arrive late and tail-swipe cheaters. F*ck dude, I could talk about dragons all day. BUT THAT’S NOT WHY I SUMMONED YOU
Things We Gamers Hoard Read More »
It is common for board games to be sent through a rigorous process of play-testing to streamline and remove their more complicated aspects. The end product is usually a sublime system that brings joy to millions of gamers. I say usually, cause sometimes the dumb f*ck*ng testers ate expired glue and drooled all over the
Games that need Improvements Read More »
Setting-up Five Tribes is like spending a day as Elon Musk – you throw peasants into piles and gamble on which ones will get you filthy f*ck*ng rich. That’s probably a terrible comparison, but the game board does look like a fully exhumed meeple graveyard with every corpse spread-eagle. So there’s that. In more meaningful terms,