Historically speaking, auctioning off animals forced to wear suits, corsets, and cocktail hats bursting with frills to sociopathic railroad barons has, typically, gone poorly. It also, I dunno, sounds illegal? Good thing Raccoon Tycoon don’t give a sh*t about the law or PETA’s opinion cause buying up these adorable critters is the name of the game.

Now, I teach a lot of new games to a lot of new people. Actually, no. That’s a lie. I teach the same awesome games to a lot of new people. Sometimes I suffer catastrophic strokes that cause me to whip out Terraforming Mars or Food Chain Magnate to Bananagrams lovers – but that’s as rare as discovering joy in Monopoly. Usually, I grab the tried and true, the always successful, always fun, and always interactive titles. And in the middle of that Venn diagram is Raccoon Tycoon.

Raccoon is a great gateway game for a number of reasons. First, a big part of the game is getting money, and no American needs to be told that “GET CASH WIN GAME” is a strategy. They were born knowing it. Second, the adorable art will draw in any empathetic soul. And third, the rising and falling prices keeps players focused during the turns of others.

Gameplay

Raccoon Tycoon is a stock market game about getting rich so you can acquire railroad cards (With artwork of adorably dressed animals) during auctions to create sets – Bigger sets score more VP. There are five different actions; on your turn, you will perform one action. Either:

  • Play a Production Card from your hand to both gain resources and raise the value of several resources.
  • Sell as much of ONE resource for the listed price, then lower the price by an amount equal to the amount you just sold (This is done after you have received your pay).
  • Purchase a building. Buildings offer asymmetrical powers and can be pretty costly.
  • Purchase a Town Card with resources (Not money). Town cards score a small amount of points, but score even more if you are able to pair them with a railroad card.
  • Begin an auction on one of the available Railroad Cards. In continuous clockwise order, players either offer a higher bid or bow out of the auction. The highest bidder pays the amount they bid and collects the card. The VP value of the railroad card is determined by how many of that set you have collected – meaning each card is worth a different amount of VP to each player.

1ST CLAW - Looking for a Big Payout

When I teach Raccoon Tycoon, I often suggest that players buy a building early on to give themselves a special power, or I might advise them to spend a few resources on a town card which will give them early points. Or, if they want a railroad card early, I would support their decision to begin an auction. Unfortunately, not one piece of sh*t at the table is listening to me since they are staring stone cold at the rising and falling prices of the resources. Though buying a building is often a player’s first move, there is no denying that the only thought in their newbie brain is “I am soooooo f*ck*ng poor.”

It’s the first claw sinking in – a need to hawkishly watch other players’ card play. The production cards (The ones that give you resources AND raise prices) are one of the two mechanics that drives the overall action. When you play a card to gain resources, that same card also raises prices – so you can’t raise prices AND sell on the same turn; those are different actions. And it feels like total bullsh*t since the sap next to you might sell at the sky price you just created. Now, obviously you will want to play cards that raise prices of the resources you receive, but it still incentivizes the other players to sell before you get a chance.

This interaction – raising prices while gaining resources and selling prices that others have raised – is the main conundrum that blows up the beginning of Raccoon Tycoon. And that conundrum skippity-pap slaps you like a fancy-pants cat all game long.

2ND CLAW - The Auctions Popoff

Though auctions can legally begin early, few players are braindead enough to initiate more than two. It’s cause winning an auction early means you end your turn poor as a hobo. One does not simply Railroad-Baron into Mordor with pennies! And so auctioning takes a backseat to getting rich off selling piles of resources. The opening turns sit in a roundabout with no driver brave enough to exit – gain, sell, gain, sell – But then! One player derails from the road like a monocle-wearing bat out of Hell and a barge of auctions begins the 2nd claw.

This claw pulls back the curtain your imagination has created. You have been guessing who is the richest at the table – counting higher and higher each player’s earnings as they sell their resources, grabbing tens and twenties. But once an auction begins, you will suddenly realize Johnny or Tammy was not as poor as they should have been.

The 2nd claw is a thrilling roller coaster as people duck out of auctions quicker than you expect, they bid higher than any sane person would, and you go through highs and lows as you bid, pass, and suddenly gain a huge chunk of money from a massive sale of resources. But you still can never truly tell who has all the money. There is a lot of confidence, followed by embarrassing doubt, followed by making your own huge scores. 

This phase is the most fun and fastest moving part of Raccoon Tycoon. You get to enjoy your building’s powers while honing the route you will take to win – Will it be dogs? Skunks? Bears and cats?! The end is far away even as auctions happen again and again. So even if you feel like you are losing now, you will have time to win by the game’s end . . . right?

THE BITE - One Deck Empties

Raccoon Tycoon ends IMMEDIATELY if either the railroad or town deck is emptied. Near the end of the 2nd claw, one of these piles experiences a sprint to depletion. It’s like a going-out-of-business sale, but instead of buying sh*tty chairs and blenders, you’re abducting foxes and raccoons as soon as they appear. You know, railroad baron type sh*t. But why would YOU care about triggering the end if you are scoring points as the finale charges forward like a rabid, but well-mannered, wolf in a fuzzy top hat and tux?

This bite stings if you hesitated and are now holding a large pile of resources, or a fat stack of dollary-doos. They may get you cards, but they aren’t worth sh*t as far as victory points. They are only used to BUY the points. So you better get to spending!

The most common trigger for this phase is one psychopath auctioning off cards they don’t want in order to flip the one they do. They’ll auction a cat, then a dog with no intention of winning the auction before HOLY MACKERAL IT’S THE 4TH BEAR! This is the rabid nature of anyone who has acquired the 2nd card of a set. The 3rd and 4th is often worth so much to them that they will curb stomp to collect the rest.

The bite has a wild west feeling since there is literally no way you have the slightest f*ck*ng clue how much money anyone has. Players bluff to no end in the final rounds – Just act rich, and everyone will think you are the dangerous one. Players might let others fight for a set that’s split, or one worth little points in order to get their own, more valuable, complete set. It’s a race to the bottom of the deck to find the rest of that stupid fox family you invested in 30 turns ago!

But no matter what you do – whether you win any auction you can, top deck until your 4th animal arrives, or drop the pile of resources for town cards – do not hesitate. The game could end before your next turn, so don’t use your turn to stall unless you know each d-bag at the table has no interest in the shortest deck of cards. But you were wrong about how much money people had early, so how the f*ck do you trust your judgement now?