The original Terraforming Mars is so old it needs to be in bed by 5 and demands to speak to your manager. It predates half-assed decent components. Franz Ferdinand was headlining parades when its first print was released. Its cover is so unappealing Barnes and Noble workers think it’s a science textbook misplaced on the game shelf. It came out in 2016, meaning no fresh-faced gamer wants to deplete their brain power playing it. Afterall, there are currently, when last I counted, ten kabillion engine builders out there with 9 billion of them dealing with hand-management. And as a kick to the pearly whites of Terraforming Mars, many of these games have better-than-sh*tty components.
But Terraforming Mars’ Claws and Bite still sink into me right from the get-go. To be more precise, throughout this epic engine-builder, there are three emotional phases of the game that always occur in the same order, yet the d*mn game never feels repetetive.
Gameplay
This is the classic hand-management engine-builder that has inspired so many other games. The DNA of Wingspan, Everdell, and Ark Nova all contain at least traces of Mars’ card system. In Terraforming Mars, you play as a powerful asymmetrical corporation, drawing and drafting cards that will be used to create your engine. The goal is to have the most points once Mars is fully Terraformed, which occurs when the oxygen meter is maxed, the temperature meter is maxed, and all oceans have been placed. Since you receive VP and resources for raising any of these parameters, it becomes a race to the end as all players are fighting to Terraform as much as they can. In addition, there are lots of other ways to score points, ensuring that all engines will be different by the end. Unlike other engine builders, the game does not end when your engine is finalized. Instead, you will spend several rounds enjoying what you’ve built as the game comes to a close.
1ST CLAW - The Milestones
The first few times you play Terraforming Mars, the engine you build is dedicated to solving the mystery of “WHAT IN THE F*CK IS GOING ON?” But after several plays, your selections of company, preludes, and project cards are all in the name of your own personal engine. And, of course, you spend your tenth game punching your own balls as punishment for ignoring the milestones. From that point on, you become a zealot for them.
The six milestones are so diverse that most engines can be steered into one or more of them, and since only three milestones can be bought each game, these become the first thing you try and accomplish. This change in play style begins casually. You think “I can probably build three cities before someone else does,” and MAAAYBE you do it, and spend 8 bucks for 5 vp’s – good job, buddy. Proud of you.
But then, unexpectedly, you have that ONE game. You know the one – the first game of Terraforming Mars where all three milestones are bought in the first generation before you had a chance to react. This moment becomes seared into the part of your brain reserved for cold-hearted revenge. For the rest of your life, you play the game differently. That’s because you instantly realize that 8 bucks for 5 victory points IS THE CHEAPEST SH*T YOU BEEN SLEEPING ON. 15 points for 24 dollars? F*CK ENGINE BUILDING THAT SH*TS MINE! This is the first claw of Terraforming Mars – it latches on the moment you are dealt cards and does not let go until the third milestone is bought.
2ND CLAW - Milestones are Finished
Once the third milestone is bought, the soothing 2nd claw strikes. This usually occurs in generation 2 or 3 and is bizarrely one of the most relieving moments in Terraforming Mars (The third utterance of “I spend 8” is kinda what you wanted to hear all along). You have just spent the last 30 minutes fighting tooth and nail to get at least 5 of the possible 15 milestone points (And all 15 if you a baller). When the final one goes, your mind takes a good 10 seconds to celebrate and recalibrate.
This is true even if you sh*t the bed and purchased NONE. It’s still true if another player paid for 2 of them. And if one person bought all three? Well, you can go ahead and flip the table right now. Either way, the game’s trajectory swings like a wild pendulum into the comfort era of engine building. You inevitably had started SOME kind of strategy while pursuing the milestones, and now you can concentrate on the main reason we all play Terraforming Mars – to build the most decision-intensive multi-faceted engine seen in any board game.
THE BITE - Awards
The bite of Terraforming Mars is an atmospheric change at the table. It’s triggering moment isn’t an action, but a silent thought all players suddenly think in unison – “When can I afford to buy the first award?”
I don’t mean ‘afford’ as in price. I mean afford as in “If I buy this, will that sh*thead Tommy sack-slap me and steal the points?” You can try and wait until the final generation to buy one, but unlike milestones, these f*ck*ng things ramp up in price. 8 bucks for 5 points is a cheap steal – for your enemies.
Waiting til the game’s end to fund a 20 dollar award, and funding an 8 dollar one early, are equally batsh*t stupid things to do. But you should fund one at some point, right? IT’S FIVE POINTS IF YOU DO IT RIGHT! This creates a meta-mini-game. You begin by watching how your opponents play, draft, and pass. If no science cards are coming your way, is someone hoarding them in secret? That award may be bought soon if they are. Same goes for the Venus cards. If Soletta is passed to you (even late game), could this secure the heating award? If one player ups their money production to ten before anyone else has five, you better plan on banker and up your funds. This mini-game of player monitoring coincides with the finale of temperature, oxygen, and oceans. It leads to an ending with players praying no one is holding surprises in their hands, and others spending like mad to steal the thunder. In the most obscene situation, the awards can swing the game by 30 points and it puts many players on edge.
These three phases encapsulate a wonderfully balanced engine-building game that still holds up today against others, no matter what the jaded online board game reviewers and critics think. The DNA shared between Terraforming Mars and Ark Nova, Wingspan, Underwater Cities, and Everdell becomes less recognizable the more you play. They are all heavy in card play, but that’s kinda it. The claws and bite of Mars is not seen in any of these other games. The race to start your engine while gunning for multiple milestones, the calmness of the game’s engine-building middle section, and the fierce battling for buying and stealing awards is what makes this Terraforming Mars irreplaceable.